Last weekend Elijah and I went grocery shopping. I normally do not take Elijah to a supermarket on the weekend and try to be organized and have everything we need. Life has been busy so this weekend we ran out of milk. Big dilemma when you have a toddler around! So off we go to the shops.
Elijah has been acting so well and like such a big boy. He had his break-up day from preschool the day before and I wanted to treat him. I told him if he was good in the shops(a little bribery never hurt anyone) he could choose himself something he likes as a treat and so he chose himself a doughnut. Off we went to the bakery counter and he chose the most plain, least sugary doughnut. Still, sugar, I know but his diet is so balanced otherwise that a little treat here and it is ok with me. And I am his mom so that makes it even more ok.
All I heard in my mind was “look at that terrible mother, how awful is she?”
We turned it into a learning lesson and at the counter, he handed it to the cashier, he told her how much it was and asked me for the right amount of money. And then I gave it to him while he was sitting patiently in the trolley. While the cashier was still ringing up the rest of my goods I hear an old lady behind me talking to someone else next to her. “Look at that child with ALL THAT SUGAR, that is so very bad for him.” All I heard in my mind was “look at that terrible mother, how awful is she?” I had had quite a hectic week and was not in the mood for mom shaming. I turned to her and said very calming so that Elijah need not know how upset I was and smirked “It is just a treat” BUT why should I even have to defend myself. Why is it that the older generation can be so hard on us? Being a mom is hard work, surely they know that. Could she not see I am raising a very happy, content little boy. What is life if there are no little treats. The look on Elijah’s face as he bit into the doughnut he had chosen was pure joy and that look was enough to keep me in the best mood all day until the interfering granny.
Mommy judging is such a big thing. If you are not doing it the way another mom is doing it they judge you. We all have our own way of bringing up children and should not have to worry about being judged. I am so glad that that granny will not be in my garden come Easter morning when Elijah goes on his Easter hunt!
Please, moms and grans and everyone else let us stop the judging, one little doughnut does not ruin a child for life. Us moms know best what is good for our children