When Elijah was two years old he started going to a tiny nursery school three mornings a week. He loved it. He never cried and just happily skipped off to his new teacher. Watching him so confident really pleased me. Also whenever we would go to the park all the kiddies would see him and call him over to play. He looked so in control, well-liked and like a real alpha male. This year when he started at a much bigger school five days a week I was totally confident that he would adjust well and quickly. But that never happened. It was really hard for him, which I am sure it is for most kiddies. And we as parents worry and just want the best for our children. I took a real knock watching my child arrive at the playground at school and not want to go in. He told me he had no friends and that no one wanted to play with him. He has since settled in so well and loves his school.
But this has all got me thinking. What happens when our children don’t ever settle in? What happens if they are being bullied, or (the shame of it) they are the bully?
I have decided that I want Elijah to know what is acceptable and what is not. I feel that teaching him morals and manners and acting as an example will set him on the right path. I encourage him to be friends with everyone and anyone and we are always at some playdate or other. Socializing with your child is key. I know there will be times as there have in the past when one or the other wants to show their dominance but I feel we as mothers should deal with it quickly and show them what is right.
Elijah has bitten a child before and I was horrified, but then I found out the circumstances, explained to Elijah what he should do in that situation instead of resorting to violence. He has also been the one who was bitten. When that happened the parents were so embarrassed but I explained to them that Elijah has done it before and they explained to their little girl that it was not right.
Being a very hands-on parent it is easy to catch these bad behaviours and nip them in the bud before they become a problem. I have my first parent/teacher meeting with the school and I am fascinated to hear what they have to say about Elijah.
What do you think the best approach is when dealing with your child being bullied or being the bully?
Here’s to raising happy, healthy and well-adjusted children!